In most of our relationships, there is a certain amount of “give and take”.  We talk and listen, serve and are served, love and are loved.  This back and forth is the natural rhythm of connection between people.  When relationships lack this mutual exchange, they are likely to fail.

So, why is it then, that we very often expect our relationships with our pastors to be different?  As church members, do we assume that because our pastor is paid to be the “leader of the flock”, we can treat our relationship with him or her differently than we would a relationship with a friend or family member?

Here’s what one church member, Hayley, had to say:

“I remember calling my pastor one night to ask him a question. When I asked what he was doing, he said,  ‘I’m just waiting on you to call and tell me what you need.’  While I know his response was sincere, his words hit me hard.  My pastor didn’t know what my need was, but he knew that he was going to help me.  My pastor doesn’t just preach on Sunday. He is always taking care of his flock, as any good shepherd would.  He is a teacher. He is a counselor. He is a protector, and a warrior for the cause of Christ.  In a congregation our size, I really don’t know how he does it.  I wish I did a better job of at least thinking of his needs- and maybe even doing something about them!  As a church, it seems like we all can do a better job of meeting the needs of our pastor.”

If, like Hayley, you are suddenly realizing your relationship with your pastor has become very one-sided, be the one to call or email your pastor, today!  Not because you need something, but because he needs you.  Ask what you can do for him or for his family. You might be surprised at how God can use you bring a smile at just the right time!